Imagine a drawing of a circle that represents the world and everything in it. And then there is a little dot over here that represents us. So, we have the world, everything in it, all the people we know, all the people we don’t know, the universe and then there’s “little us” over here, separate from all those things. This happens when we think phrases like: “Nobody gets me,” “I’m all alone,” “I’m all out of love, I’m so lost without you, etc.” On the one hand, we are a unique culmination of experiences and energy… but are we really so different from everything else?
If we take a step back, 10,000 miles away from the earth, we look a lot like the rest of us and we’re not so different after all. Maybe we’re not so separate from the world and everything else at all. Maybe we have some things in common with people in a country that our political leaders are at war with. Maybe we look very similar to the people who’s religion we look down on, philosophies we argue with, or places we send your trash to get it out of your sight.
The feeling of being separate from things will keep us in survival mode because it feels like it’s “me against the world,” which was a Tupac song from the 90s. The stance of separation has us thinking that things are more different than they really are. This mentality leads us to be in conflict with everyone and everything else because we think we are not like them.
If, however, we see the world as one big connected family, sharing the same home, on the same journey, then we will seek to find common ground. We instead say things like “I’m willing to listen to what you’ve got to say” and “even if our opinions differ, I don’t want to hurt you because we’re more alike than different”…it leads to different outcomes than seeing the world through separation. Is it true? I don’t know, but it may be a strategy to happiness more often.
Connectedness is a much better feeling. I’m much more confident and able to share gifts when I feel connected—versus feeling like, “they don’t want to hear a thing I’ve got to say. I can’t relate to any of them.” If we look for the similarities, instead of the differences, we just may find them.